Model Perfect 1x3

 

 

We're back at Morningside Mall. People in the You Tube comments say it's a real place and it's changed a lot or maybe not there anymore. Anyway...Amanda is bemoaning having to buy a swimsuit for the swim team because she's so fat. Whatever. It's too bad that she has low self-esteem, but it's annoying at the same time. The girls order ice cream, and Amanda is already cutting down by not having sprinkles (how many calories could those be?).

 

 

Then Amanda sees a modeling agency set up looking for recruits. Chrissy has her picture taken as some boys whistle from the upstairs balcony and Amanda watches wistfully. Of course the idea of being discovered appeals to her and she has her turn getting her picture taken. Busy wisely warns that it's probably a scam and she'll have to pay for the picture, but surprisingly it's free.

 

 

I don't even know what to make of this next scene. Amanda is making Busy pull a wax strip off an inch of Amanda's leg to get rid of some invisible hair. No idea why she couldn't do it herself. Anyway, Busy waits too long to do it because she doesn't want to hurt her friend and it doesn't work anyway. All you need to know is that Amanda is becoming obsessed with her looks.

 

 

The next scene opens with a shot of Amanda's bandaged up legs. This same joke will be used a couple of years later with Busy. Anyway, the inappropriately clad swim teacher singles Amanda out to tell her she'd better keep in shape and perform well while Amanda hugs herself awkwardly. Chrissy shows up in a two piece bathing suit, making Busy scowl and Amanda jealous. The teacher hypocritically tells her to put on a more modest suit.

 

 

Look what Amanda's parents have bought. It's a doll who sits in the refrigerator and yells out "FATSO! FATSO!" every time you open the door. Just what every home with a looks-conscious tween needs. The doll is actually to help Phyllis (Amanda's mother) lose weight for her high school reunion. It is revealed that Phyllis was skinny until she was Amanda's age and then became fat, though she's obviously not fat now. Still, not a good thing to tell your kid. Amanda expresses her need to go on a diet and everyone tells her they love her as she is.

 

 

Amanda trying pictures of her face on other people's bodies. It's not the last time we'll see this behavior, either. Busy is playing air drums while Amanda is going on about what kind of body she wants, and it's one of the first times you wonder why the hell they're even friends. Amanda doesn't grasp the sarcasm when Busy tells her she's "huge."

 

 

Amanda watches as her mother primps for the reunion. When Amanda expresses doubt as to her own attractiveness, her mother responds, "Daddy and I think you're lovely." Jeez, Amanda might not be the cutest kid in the world, but you'd think she had some sort of deformity the way the script is written. Put that line down as another thing not to say to your daughter.  

 

 

At swim practice we overhear Chrissy say the modeling agency contacted her and she's going to be on TV. The teacher again picks on Amanda and tells her to get in shape. Justin says any kind of shape would be an improvement and the other kids laugh. Okay, enough build up for the eating disorder. The episode's already half over.

 

 

Amanda has brought a calorie counter to the school cafeteria and chides Busy for the fattening food she's eating. I'm assuming there are no teachers around while the kids eat lunch, because while this conversation is going on, Busy is having a food fight with a boys' table across the room and some unseen person randomly yanks Amanda's pigtail. Busy demonstrates her healthy self-image (as if we had any doubt) with a feel good lecture. Amanda seems to be convinced and is about to eat a potato chip when Chrissy and her friends come by and imply that she's fat. Amanda then decides she's on a special diet. I don't get it. Chrissy, the pretty girl, is "fatter" than Amanda. You'd think that would make Amanda want to gain a few pounds if anything. 

 

 

Now Amanda's is into obsessively exercising. She eats a piece of chocolate, freaks out and weighs herself. I hate when there's a show like this about a girl dieting and they give her actual weight. It could make the girls watching worry if they are around the same size or heavier. I couldn't read the scale too well, but I think Amanda's weight is 110. At least she isn't starting out at an unhealthy weight, but I still wish they wouldn't have shown it. Thus ensues a montage of Amanda doing all sorts of exercises, presumably all on the same day because she's wearing the same clothes.

 

 

Busy calls to invite Amanda for dinner at her house, but of course Amanda declines. Busy asks if she's becoming anorexic, to which Amanda says "that's so retarded!" This is one instance I wish they would've gone PC on us because I hate that word. I'll spare you the lecture, though. "It doesn't matter how much you weigh. It matters how you feel!," Busy says. I have to give the Busy actress credit for saying these lines without sounding completely like a PSA.

 

 

You knew we couldn't get through this episode without a weird dream sequence, right? Amanda tosses in bed as she dreams of Chrissy, Justin and a huge bowl of ice cream. She gets up to go to the refrigerator to get something to eat, which sets off that "FATSO! FATSO! FATSO!" doll.

 

 

At the next swim practice, there is an important race to decide who gets to go to a certain competition. Amanda swims with audio clips from the episode in the background until she faints in the water. 

 

 

In the next scene Amanda has already bee seen by the school nurse. The whole team is in some sort of waiting room for unknown reasons. Pizza is brought in and Busy enthusiastically offers Amanda some. Chrissy hushes everyone as her commercial starts playing on the waiting room TV. It turns out the commercial was for dog food, and they only used Chrissy's hands.

 

Amanda Zimm VS DJ Tanner

 

 

Amanda and DJ had very similar almost-eating disorders. Both went on crash diets and over exercised. DJ taped pictures of models to the refrigerator to keep her from eating while Amanda had that troll doll thing. DJ fainted while exercising while Amanda fainted while swimming. Both started eating again by the end of the episode. I wonder if kids' shows even have anorexia episodes anymore, what with the focus on ending obesity?

 

Some people might scoff at the idea that Amanda's eating disorder was cured with pizza so quickly, but I don't think she ever really had anorexia or that the show was claiming that she did. She just went on an unhealthy diet that lasted a few days. It was something that could have lead to an eating disorder if it hadn't been addressed like this. Busy was a good friend throughout this episode and Amanda was so awkward in places that you could feel her adolescent pain bouncing off the screen.

 

Next episode: Busy gets her period.



Smoke Screen 1x2

 

 

Amanda and Busy are watching Busy's family's old home movies on a projector. Doesn't sound like the most likely of things friends would be doing together, but I guess it's a good a plot device as any to set up the storyline. Amanda remarks that some place Busy and her brother Frankie used to skate at is now completely polluted. Wouldn't that have only been a few years ago? How did things change that much? But anyway, Amanda is concerned about the environment and Busy and Frankie (the youngest of the Ramone brothers) used to be the best of friends.

 

 

Cue some blasting generic rock music coming from Frankie's room and we'll see how things are today, in 1993. Frankie is lifting weights and isn't pleased with the girls' interruption. It's obvious Amanda has a crush on Frankie but he doesn't reciprocate in the least. Think that's going to discourage her?

 

 

Against Frankie's wishes, the girls come to cheer on Frankie at his basketball tryouts. Well, Busy is cheering anyway. Amanda spies a prettier, more grown-up girl in the bleachers and utters one of my favorite lines from this show, "There's Jessica Purdy. She's such a moron. She colors her hair with Kool-Aid and she stuffs her bra!"

 

Frankie flubs the tryouts and Amanda wants to stay and give him "emotional support," but Busy refuses. Instead, Amanda goes home and writes a poem.

 

 

First of all, take note of that mural of early 90's heartthrobs on Amanda's wall! I guess this is supposed to show us how different Amanda and Busy are. Amanda: straight as a pin. Busy: gayer than gay. Anyway, so she's writing a poem. It goes something like this. "Oh handsome boy/So sad and blue/Failed to make the cut/Remember that not everyone fits in a sporty rut/You're not the type who wins by seeking balls and running bases/I'm sure you'll find that you're not just another face in the crowd lost amongst the team/You're a rebel boy/I see you in my dreams." Despite the fact that it randomly quits rhyming at one point and the awkward phrasing of "sporty rut," I guess it's not a bad poem from an eleven year old.

 

 

At the Ramone house for dinner. Busy's mom wonders if Amanda can have milk because she is Jewish. The girls have been friends since they were seven, you'd think she'd know these things by now. Except I don't think the writers had decided on the longevity of the friendship by this episode, or else Amanda might have been in some of those home videos. So we've established that the Ramones are a loud, boisterous Catholic family and Amanda is Jewish. More differences. The men discuss sports and Amanda excuses herself to wash her hands. Of course, we know she's really going to deliver the poem, which she stuffs in Frankie's jacket pocket in his room.

 

 

Frankie finds the unsigned poem and it does seem to give him a shot of confidence. He appears particularly taken with the phrase "rebel boy," and struts out of the room in a leather jacket and shades, smoking a cigarette. Busy is hurt that Frankie won't invite him along with her and speaks to her like she's a baby. Frankie meets up with Jessica Purdy of the Kool-Aid hair and some other guys and asks for a smoke. He makes a fool of himself and then pats the poem in his jacket pocket, looking pointedly at Jessica, who of course doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.

 

 

Busy and Amanda walk around outside Morningside Mall with Amanda dissecting poor Frankie's fragile self-esteem, much to Busy's annoyance. Amanda acknowledges Frankie's crush on Kool-Aid head, and Busy becomes angry and says unlike Busy Frankie doesn't like girls. Then they spy Frankie lighting up a cigarette through the window of an arcade called Fatso's. It reminds me of the "Greg's smokin'!" scene on The Brady Bunch. They rush in and demand an explanation, only to have Frankie blow them off and flirt with Jessica. Amanda realizes Frankie thinks Jessica wrote the poem.

 

 

We see Busy playing her drums for the first time. Frankie bursts in her room and they call each other names like "egghead" and "smoke face." Come on now, I thought this show was all about realism. They wouldn't be calling each other tame stuff like that. Frankie reiterates that they aren't friends anymore like they used to be and that Busy is just a kid.

 

 

Next scene, Busy tries to prove she's not just a kid by smoking in the garage while Amanda sprays something from an aerosol can and quotes statistics about women smokers. It's kind of ballsy that they would show kids this young on TV actually smoking, though in Busy's case, she keeps turning around so it's hard to tell if it's a real cigarette. There used to be these fake cigarettes you could buy at the dollar store that would blow out real smoke if you blew hard enough.

 

 

Then Busy goes to Fatso's with the intention of smoking in front of Frankie. As they walk in, she has this weird daydream for no apparent reason that Fatso's is a 1950's diner.

 

 

Look, I'm not here to bring up every example of Busy's possible gender confusion. I'm not qualified to do that and frankly, I'd be here all day if I tried. However, it's worth pointing out that she's the only girl in the daydream dressed in drag. Also, Frankie is wearing lipstick and eyeliner. Cut back to reality, and Frankie is telling her how stupid she looks, even though she is trying to look just like him.

 

 

Then he humiliates her by dumping a dirty ashtray on her head in front of the group of cool kids, who laugh as Busy and Amanda storm out. It's obvious Frankie feels some guilt for influencing his little sister to smoke, but this behavior really tarnishes his image of the sweet, sensitive guy.

 

 

Back at home, Busy takes revenge by trashing Frankie's room while a nervous Amanda looks on. Busy finds the poem, of course, and reads it mockingly. Amanda gives herself away by her defense of the quality of the poem and the fact that she dots her i's with little smiley faces. They move into the kitchen and Busy blows up at Amanda for daring to have a crush on her brother and writing him a love letter behind her back. She wouldn't even accept all of Amanda's vital organs if she offered them. Amanda reminds her that they aren't even the same blood type, to which Busy retorts "We're not the same type, period."

 

 

Busy accuses Amanda of having a crush on everyone, which is basically kid talk for "you slut!" Amanda says she can't help it...but no one ever crushes back, she says sadly.

 

 

Before Busy can confide that yes, someone in this very room crushes back, Frankie enters the scene.

 

 

Frankie manages to apologize without ever actually saying he's sorry, which I actually kind of like. It's more typical of a thirteen year old boy than having some big emotional scene. The credits roll over the actors adlibbing dialogue, as will happen with most future episodes.

 

This episode did well introducing Busy's character. She really only had a small supporting role in Thirty-Two Double A (pun not intended), and here we get to know more about her without focusing on obvious traits like the tomboy thing.

 

Next episode: Amanda takes a page from DJ Tanner's book and is anorexic for a few minutes.

Thirty-Two Double A 1x1

 

First of all, I'd like to thank the three You Tube users who currently have the series posted. I'm going to put up a video of the episode in each review so you can follow along if you haven't already seen it.

 

We start off with the girls under the covers at Amanda's house (obviously having a sleepover) discussing armpit hair, boobs, BO and boys. The girls look so young here, and I'm guessing this episode was filmed a while before the rest of the first season. Amanda prompts Busy to say goodnight to her Jason Priestley poster. A nice bit of early 90's nostalgia right off the bat there.

 

 

Amanda lets it be known that, despite her devotion to Jason, she also has a crush on a grade 7 guy named Mark who apparently has a bra fetish. Amanda is so into this guy that she is wears a bra stuffed with ping pong balls over her clothes.

 

Mark appears on the scene and Busy is only impressed with his skateboarding skills. She accuses Amanda of only talking about "boys, boys, boys" these days. The male teacher introduces a "sex box" in which students can ask anonymous questions. This doesn't come into play in this episode, but of course the kids think it's hilarious. Mark then conveniently pays a visit to the class and Amanda gets all hot and bothered while Busy just rolls her eyes.

 

 

It's recess time again and Amanda is wondering what some older kids are doing off sequestered by themselves. She surmises that they are French kissing. I find it strange that she feels compelled to explain what French kissing is, yet tosses out the word "boner" casually. I'm pretty sure when I was in the sixth grade "Boner" was simply Mike's friend on Growing Pains. But anyway, this scene is our first clue that this show isn't going to be sugar-coating any controversial issues.

 

 

It turns out the older kids are playing a rousing game of Truth or Dare. Okay, and one kid is smoking. I'm not sure how he's getting away with this right on school property, but whatever. We get our first glimpse of Chrissy here. She is destined to cause no end of envy and pain for Amanda for the first couple of seasons. Chrissy dares Mark (who, by the way, I don't think we ever see again) to make "intimate contact" with a sixth grader and tell her she has nice boobs. And who do you think he's going to choose?

 

 

Mark comes across Amanda hanging upside down on the monkey bars. His idea of intimate contact is just to pick her up and put her down.

 

 

"Nice tits," Mark says, and it's pretty funny because she's wearing a huge coat and you can't even tell if she's got anything or not. Amanda doesn't get it, though, and takes this as some huge declaration of love. She badgers her mother into buying her a bra because Mark is supposed to be really into them. What's wrong with this boy anyway? The bra saleslady is disturbingly enthusiastic, proclaiming she sees "many beautiful breasts everyday." There is some instruction about how to put on a bra that was probably interesting to young girls at the time, but I don't feel like going into it.

 

 

Then comes the first dream sequence of the series. Amanda dreams of a well-endowed version of herself dancing with Mark while Chrissy, who is wearing a bra stuffed with ping pong balls, is laughed at by everyone at school.

 

 

The teacher looks on as well, and winks creepily at Amanda.

 

 

Next morning, Amanda's dad comes in and tells her how proud he is of her and what a big step it is. Why are TV fathers always so anxious to talk to their adolescent daughters about bras and periods? It doesn't happen that way in real life. Anyway, I think Mr. Zimm is a little creepy in this scene, but that's probably just my issue.

 

 

And why, why did the parents let her go to school with her bra straps hanging out like that? It's the only reason I can think of that sixth grade girls (half of whom would already be wearing bras anyway) would give her a hard time about it. Even Busy gives her the cold shoulder. She goes over to the older kids and they want nothing to do with her either. She eventually takes off the bra in a restroom stall while practicing for an upcoming oral presentation.

 

 

And overhears these two grousing about Amanda wearing a bra. Well, bitches, if you want a bra so bad just go out and get one, jeez!

 

 

"Hey everybody, Amanda's about to present her BRAject!" Those witty, witty kids. I'm not sure if this is the same Monkey Ears we'll know for the rest of the series. He looks slightly different. Then Monkey Ears(?) grabs the bra Amanda had stashed in her desk and all the kids begin throwing it around the room.

 

 

This scene reminds me of the time when I was in the fourth grade and my mother had obviously not sorted the laundry very well. I stood up in class and an extra pair of my panties fell out of my pants leg. Before I could do anything about it, some kid grabbed them and they were thrown around the room, just like this. So even though I don't think it's altogether realistic that these kids would make such a big deal about a bra, this particular scene is quite believable.

 

 

Even Busy laughs at Amanda's predicament. Some friend you are!

 

 

Amanda says she can't do her report, to which the teacher replies, "you must." Some girls take this opportunity to chant "You must, you must, you must improve your bust" from Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. Told you Amanda was a Judy Blume girl. I don't think most kids misbehave so blatantly right in front of the teacher, though. Amanda braves on with her report, which looks pretty awesome, as an instrumental tune plays. She then wisely stays after school until the other kids have gone. Mr. Norris gives her back her bra.

 

 

However, Busy has been waiting and the two make up fairly quickly. They do a handshake that seems to be their thing and we'll see it a few more times throughout the series.

 

 

Riding down a hill on skateboards while holding on to a bra looks like the coolest way to get home from school ever.

 

Since this is supposed to be a review, I guess I'll give this episode three out of four stars.

 

This pilot was originally supposed to be a short film, but was picked up to be a series. The rest of the show will focus on both Busy and Amanda, because a show about Amanda's non-existent boobs wouldn't be very good.

 

Next episode: Busy tries to keep up with her older brother by trying cigarettes while Amanda develops a pity-crush (is that a thing?) on said older brother.